Everything Happens for a Reason and This is Where Perception Comes In

"Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don't rent them out to tomorrow." Jerry Spinelli

I miss this man! I talk to him everyday, more than I would like to admit. I tell him all of the things I would have taken the time to have shared with him if he was still here and I ramble on and on about all of the things I would be telling him during our daily phone calls if he were still here.

In one foul swoop our family said, "Good bye" to our patriarch, and my husband was informed the company he was working for would be closing after he finished up the last 2 jobs they already had on board.

42 days has passed. We are learning to stay present, focus on what we do have, and take life minute by minute.

Change brings change, one cannot be found without the other, they are the inseparable friends.

So, change it is, was, and will continue to be.

We decided after much contemplation it was time to say, "Good bye", to our Mini-van of 12 years yesterday. I remember the day my father brought "Bertha" home. My mom and I were in utter astonishment, we did not want to be driving around the "Soccer Mom Van". Goodness looking back, I think a "Thank You" was in order, not a "What the hell is that thing you want me to drive around?". Ok, so I was a total spoiled brat, we got that out of the way. "Bertha" was good to us, she was good to us and she will be good to her new family. She became a member of our family, a part of our memories.

Change is good, it allows us to make room for more positive space in our lives.

Their will be a later blog post on our new ride. We are still working our a few kinks in it, though it is one pimpin' gold gettup. Just sayin'!

We can learn a lot from the different twists and turns our journeys take. But, than there are the few pieces that keep us unique and true to ourselves. In the end it did not and does not matter what kind of car we drive, the car does not define us. We should probably be using a horse and cart rather than driving cars anyway.

We define ourselves through our daily actions, voices, and reactions.

As our week came to a close, we were all feeling really good, the most positive we had felt in awhile. We woke on Friday ready to hand Bertha's keys over to her new family, attend piano lessons, acting lessons, and Temple for our very first time.

My father was raised in the temple. My siblings and I are the only 3 in our immediate and extended family that were not raised religiously. I know this is a touchy subject, so please bear with me. In my fathers last few weeks, he began sharing stories about the Jewish religion with my children. I was amazed at how much my son's interest grew from these few seeds my father had planted. In the few days my family and I planned my father's funeral, seeds became planted in me, and in the past few weeks they yearned to be watered.

So, we watered our seeds by attending Temple for our first time. I asked the kids to take showers and dress in something other than jeans and t-shirts. I was speechless when Lillitha grabbed hold of the very dress she wore to my father's funeral. I could not believe how very fitting this was. True to herself, my littlest followed her big sister's lead.

I will be honest with you, I was having a lot of apprehension about attending a place I had never been alone with 4 kids. Umm...yeah, I was over thinking it and trying to come up with some legitimate excuse to duck out. My heart did not lead me astray, mid-afternoon, I picked up the phone and called the Temple to double check that it was indeed family night.

I kid you not, not only was it family night, but Pink's Hot Dogs catered the dinner following the family services. Upon hearing this, there was not a single thing that would be stopping us from attending Temple last night.

Bear with me just one more time, please. My dad went to school and hung out with the owner of Pink's Hot Dogs at Fairfax High. He used to share stories with all of us about Pink's. I remember him being so excited to take me there for the first time, I was in shock that he was wiling to wait on the astronomical line, as he always strayed far away from them. He loved Pink's, loved it, loved it!!!

It was unbelievably obvious that I was supposed to be attending temple with my children last night.

The point is, is that we are right where we are supposed to be, doing all of the things we are supposed to be doing. My father is still here with us, even if he is not, and we sure are receiving blessings based on his behalf. If I am not mistaken, he may very well be cahoots with whomever is watching over us upstairs.

Maybe that is all a little far fetched, but really what I truly mean is that things are falling into place, everything happens for a reason, sometimes things happen that can easily be perceived as bad, but that is all perception. My husband losing his job was a beautiful wake up call. Losing my father is like losing apart of myself, but I am finding way to keep him alive in my heart. Selling our mini-van to another family is the end of an era for us and a new beginning for them. Life is cyclical and we coming around the bend.

"Nothing comes from without. All things come from within." Neville Goddard

Where are you? We are right here.

-Right now we are-

-Still cleaning, but dude, we have a "New" living room! Thanks to moving furniture around and around till it was just so.

-Knitting my gals Spring sweater, but already looking for something new to keep my hands busy. I have 3 skeins to make 3 cowls for Holiday presents, but they are made using the seed stitch. I have to think while knitting the seed stitch and this is just not where I am at right now. I love the garter stitch, because I do it well and that means I do not have to think while I make it happen. So any good ideas using the garter stitch are much appreciated. -We are lacking in the picture department. -My kids spent all day outside today!!! Thank you Mr. Sun for joining us, your presence was missed. They played the day away with the new pulley gondola they built over the weekend, that is awesome. So much so, that everyone who walks by stops and chats it up about the awesomeness of it. I heard a rather "cool" teenage boy mumble and stare how cool it was under his breath. You know all of his pals would of that so too, they are all just so teenageish that they are too worried about being uncool. What a shame. And, my kids were thinking it was pretty awesome an older gentleman walking his dog stopped and chatted with them, he got pretty excited they were putting army men in it. -My husband diligently looks for work day in and day out. I am so impressed with his "keep on trekking" think he has going on. -We are healthy, we have a roof over our heads, food in the kitchen, beds to lay our heads in, technology at our fingertips, family & friends, we are blessed and we are good right now!

~It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available---more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don't have to run into the future to get more.~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Spring Cleaning Beginnings

I began "Spring Cleaning" today. I thought it would be best to start small and end big. I was looking for a smoking hot fire under my ass, as mine as been pretty sedentary until today. I trekked up to my boys forbidden territory, thinking this would be the perfect start, a good place to find inspiration for the rest of the cleaning to come. His room is a shoebox, no really like a shoebox in comparison to the rest of the house, thus he had a nightstand, a teeny tiny bookshelf, and his bed. Like I said a perfect simple beginning to my "Spring Cleaning" goal. Yeah, well that damn simple, cozy, quaint little bedroom took me like 4 hours to thoroughly clean inside and out. Holy moly, 4 stinking hours of my life! That means that everyother room in our house may take me like 6-8 hours as they are all double to triple that size and thus have way more junk!!! AHHH....I am scared. I think I just put out my own fire I started under my ass, as I am weeping tears of utter angst. And, now you understand how much I would prefer to not spend my precious time cleaning! But, oh, oh, oh, how I do LOVE the cleanliness afterwards!!! LOVE it, like even tough it was 4 hours, now that it is all done, I would do it all over again. But, you see the problem now lays in the fact that because I rarely clean, that when I do , I want to do everything I can to keep it that way for extended periods of time. And, well that just is not going to happen with 6 people living here, now is it. Thinking hard about joining Flylady. I think it is high time we lived with a bit of cleanliness, but I dunno, as I kinda thrive on the whole, "oh me oh my it is killing me", feelings that kick in, and than I just do it all at once. Back to right now, I am LOVING the cleanliness and simplicity of my little guys room. It is now a clean shoebox with a bed. We did away with the 2 extra pieces of furniture, as they were just more surface area to accumulate dust and junk. Simplicity is where it is at, folks. And, now tonight I am cozied up in our living room looking a bit like Ma Ingalls, but with a laptop, listening to my daughter breath to the rhythm of her dreams, & enjoying the company of my husband. A perfect ending to the first day I have done more than just sit!

A Post Just to Say" I Posted"

My thoughts freeze as my bottom hits the chair and I lie my fingers upon the keyboard. We sit, the computer and I for sometimes as long as 20 minute, before I resign myself to another day gone by that I do not post. I keep telling myself that I need to write something, anything.Because if I do than each time following will get easier and easier.

So, bear with me folks, this is a dozie of a post.

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~A few things I would like to do in the next month~

~We will begin growing veggies in our garden and we will eat these very veggies when they are ready.

~I will sew each of my kids a few pair of jammies.

~I will finish the felted purse I knit each and every Wednesday I visited with my father in his last months.

~I will visit my father on Wednesdays with my children.

~I will "Spring" clean our home, like windows and everything!!! (Bought two stuffed bags full of cleaning supplies just the other night)

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~Right Now~

~I am typing in the space while my husband and I watch The Cartel on Netflix.

~I take a break here and there to play Words with Friends

~I revel at the beauty of my youngest daughter cuddled into the crook of my husbands arm while she sleeps away the fun of today.

~I try to stay present

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~Tomorrow~

~A new slate, a new day.

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"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present."

Lao Tzu

Les Miserables School Edition --Coral--

Coral was recently cast in her first Musical as Young Eponine in

Les Miserables the School Edition

with Performance Theatre for Young Artists in Ventura, California

Without surprise she once again soared higher than clouds and made this momma's heart proud!

And this grandma wore an ear to ear smile even while shedding tears at the sorrow that this production is filled with.

We love you Miss Coral and look forward to seeing you in many more productions!

{This Moment}

{This Moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired By~ Amanda Soule

This week I am grateful for~Inspired by~ Waldorf Mama

~Health

~A roof over our heads

~Food on our table

~Family

~Friends

~Technology

A Beautiful Way to End Today

Today was draining to say the least. I needed to lay my head upon my pillow with positive thoughts for a better tomorrow:

"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." ~Albert Einstein~

"Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear." ~Lao Tzu~

"A man who is master of himself can end sorrow as he can invent pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them."

~Oscar Wilde~

"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." ~Martin Luther King Jr.~

"Happiness depends upon ourselves." ~Aristotle~

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." ~Martha Washington~

And I promise you tomorrow will be better...