Friday, April 1, 2011

Everything Happens for a Reason and This is Where Perception Comes In

"Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don't rent them out to tomorrow." Jerry Spinelli

I miss this man! I talk to him everyday, more than I would like to admit. I tell him all of the things I would have taken the time to have shared with him if he was still here and I ramble on and on about all of the things I would be telling him during our daily phone calls if he were still here.

In one foul swoop our family said, "Good bye" to our patriarch, and my husband was informed the company he was working for would be closing after he finished up the last 2 jobs they already had on board.

42 days has passed. We are learning to stay present, focus on what we do have, and take life minute by minute.

Change brings change, one cannot be found without the other, they are the inseparable friends.

So, change it is, was, and will continue to be.

We decided after much contemplation it was time to say, "Good bye", to our Mini-van of 12 years yesterday. I remember the day my father brought "Bertha" home. My mom and I were in utter astonishment, we did not want to be driving around the "Soccer Mom Van". Goodness looking back, I think a "Thank You" was in order, not a "What the hell is that thing you want me to drive around?". Ok, so I was a total spoiled brat, we got that out of the way. "Bertha" was good to us, she was good to us and she will be good to her new family. She became a member of our family, a part of our memories.

Change is good, it allows us to make room for more positive space in our lives.

Their will be a later blog post on our new ride. We are still working our a few kinks in it, though it is one pimpin' gold gettup. Just sayin'!

We can learn a lot from the different twists and turns our journeys take. But, than there are the few pieces that keep us unique and true to ourselves. In the end it did not and does not matter what kind of car we drive, the car does not define us. We should probably be using a horse and cart rather than driving cars anyway.

We define ourselves through our daily actions, voices, and reactions.

As our week came to a close, we were all feeling really good, the most positive we had felt in awhile. We woke on Friday ready to hand Bertha's keys over to her new family, attend piano lessons, acting lessons, and Temple for our very first time.

My father was raised in the temple. My siblings and I are the only 3 in our immediate and extended family that were not raised religiously. I know this is a touchy subject, so please bear with me. In my fathers last few weeks, he began sharing stories about the Jewish religion with my children. I was amazed at how much my son's interest grew from these few seeds my father had planted. In the few days my family and I planned my father's funeral, seeds became planted in me, and in the past few weeks they yearned to be watered.

So, we watered our seeds by attending Temple for our first time. I asked the kids to take showers and dress in something other than jeans and t-shirts. I was speechless when Lillitha grabbed hold of the very dress she wore to my father's funeral. I could not believe how very fitting this was. True to herself, my littlest followed her big sister's lead.

I will be honest with you, I was having a lot of apprehension about attending a place I had never been alone with 4 kids. Umm...yeah, I was over thinking it and trying to come up with some legitimate excuse to duck out. My heart did not lead me astray, mid-afternoon, I picked up the phone and called the Temple to double check that it was indeed family night.

I kid you not, not only was it family night, but Pink's Hot Dogs catered the dinner following the family services. Upon hearing this, there was not a single thing that would be stopping us from attending Temple last night.

Bear with me just one more time, please. My dad went to school and hung out with the owner of Pink's Hot Dogs at Fairfax High. He used to share stories with all of us about Pink's. I remember him being so excited to take me there for the first time, I was in shock that he was wiling to wait on the astronomical line, as he always strayed far away from them. He loved Pink's, loved it, loved it!!!

It was unbelievably obvious that I was supposed to be attending temple with my children last night.

The point is, is that we are right where we are supposed to be, doing all of the things we are supposed to be doing. My father is still here with us, even if he is not, and we sure are receiving blessings based on his behalf. If I am not mistaken, he may very well be cahoots with whomever is watching over us upstairs.

Maybe that is all a little far fetched, but really what I truly mean is that things are falling into place, everything happens for a reason, sometimes things happen that can easily be perceived as bad, but that is all perception. My husband losing his job was a beautiful wake up call. Losing my father is like losing apart of myself, but I am finding way to keep him alive in my heart. Selling our mini-van to another family is the end of an era for us and a new beginning for them. Life is cyclical and we coming around the bend.

"Nothing comes from without. All things come from within." Neville Goddard

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