Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A Deep Rooted Flaw

Tonight needs to be spent FINISHING up a few gifts and possibly even beginning a few more. I am now laughing, whole heartily laughing at myself. "Why?," you ask. Because I think, no, I KNOW that I have a problem. A very, very deep rooted problem. It definitely stems from my mothers side of the family. I simply do not like finishing things. NO, actually I LOVE finishing things, but I always get to this place where things are just about to be finished and than I HAVE to set the project aside so that inevitably I am knee deep in life's other offerings and low and behold the gift I set aside a few weeks ago needs to be done NOW.
I simply cannot hide this from anyone, because if you know me, I am 100% sure I "owe" you a gift. I can also guarantee you that it is a wink away from being finished sitting in a sterilite box in my craft closet. I am so sick and twisted that I wrap it up all nicely and get it out of eyesight. This is where the sick problem lies. Just because it is out of sight, does not mean it if off of my to do list that I constantly carry around in my head. It sings to me day in and day out. I am sure I have gone to bed and possibly even awakened to me setting a timeline to get it to you by your next birthday.
The point is, I think I always need something to do. I need a lot to do. When I do not have things on my list to check off I feel empty and lost. So, if you happen to be one of my dear friends that is awaiting a promised gift, you can pat yourself on the back right now and praise yourself for helping me feel alive and happy.
You will indeed receive your gift as I have put in place some very strict rules for myself.
#1-Nothing can come in the crafting room unless something has gone out
#2-The same as number one
#3-I work on an "on-going" gift for at least 20 minutes each night
#4-I actually take the time to get the gift to the receiver
#5-Everything that makes it into the crafting room has a pronto purpose
I recently finished up and delivered to my father a crocheted afghan I worked on for him all summer. It was the best feeling to finish it up and be able to take my time with the finishing touches. Through that process I became very aware of my crazy need to tuck things away before finishing them. I promised myself I would no longer do my out of sight but not out if mind thing. The reality is I am totally afraid of finishing something and being completely unhappy with the outcome. My dad's afghan really helped me with that. Unfortunately, I took a few steps backward after finishing up my daughter's birthday gift. I do not hate it, but it definitely has room for improvement.
Tonight, I would like to finish her second gift. Again, I keep putting it off, as I have a bit of the perfectionist flaw and a lot is a stake if I am unhappy with both gifts I made for her. So, I am signing off in hopes of finishing up a gift and hanging my most recent sewing/ craft project for our home. Once the gift is washed and dried and the project hung, a few gifts are next in line that have been in the closet for close to year. Gasp...they will be done in less than a month for the soon to be one year old, because, "I think I can" stick to this new plan of mine!

1 comment:

Tawnya said...

Happy to be the recipient of some of your chronically delayed jewels :)