Where are you? We are right here.

-Right now we are-

-Still cleaning, but dude, we have a "New" living room! Thanks to moving furniture around and around till it was just so.

-Knitting my gals Spring sweater, but already looking for something new to keep my hands busy. I have 3 skeins to make 3 cowls for Holiday presents, but they are made using the seed stitch. I have to think while knitting the seed stitch and this is just not where I am at right now. I love the garter stitch, because I do it well and that means I do not have to think while I make it happen. So any good ideas using the garter stitch are much appreciated. -We are lacking in the picture department. -My kids spent all day outside today!!! Thank you Mr. Sun for joining us, your presence was missed. They played the day away with the new pulley gondola they built over the weekend, that is awesome. So much so, that everyone who walks by stops and chats it up about the awesomeness of it. I heard a rather "cool" teenage boy mumble and stare how cool it was under his breath. You know all of his pals would of that so too, they are all just so teenageish that they are too worried about being uncool. What a shame. And, my kids were thinking it was pretty awesome an older gentleman walking his dog stopped and chatted with them, he got pretty excited they were putting army men in it. -My husband diligently looks for work day in and day out. I am so impressed with his "keep on trekking" think he has going on. -We are healthy, we have a roof over our heads, food in the kitchen, beds to lay our heads in, technology at our fingertips, family & friends, we are blessed and we are good right now!

~It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available---more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don't have to run into the future to get more.~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Spring Cleaning Beginnings

I began "Spring Cleaning" today. I thought it would be best to start small and end big. I was looking for a smoking hot fire under my ass, as mine as been pretty sedentary until today. I trekked up to my boys forbidden territory, thinking this would be the perfect start, a good place to find inspiration for the rest of the cleaning to come. His room is a shoebox, no really like a shoebox in comparison to the rest of the house, thus he had a nightstand, a teeny tiny bookshelf, and his bed. Like I said a perfect simple beginning to my "Spring Cleaning" goal. Yeah, well that damn simple, cozy, quaint little bedroom took me like 4 hours to thoroughly clean inside and out. Holy moly, 4 stinking hours of my life! That means that everyother room in our house may take me like 6-8 hours as they are all double to triple that size and thus have way more junk!!! AHHH....I am scared. I think I just put out my own fire I started under my ass, as I am weeping tears of utter angst. And, now you understand how much I would prefer to not spend my precious time cleaning! But, oh, oh, oh, how I do LOVE the cleanliness afterwards!!! LOVE it, like even tough it was 4 hours, now that it is all done, I would do it all over again. But, you see the problem now lays in the fact that because I rarely clean, that when I do , I want to do everything I can to keep it that way for extended periods of time. And, well that just is not going to happen with 6 people living here, now is it. Thinking hard about joining Flylady. I think it is high time we lived with a bit of cleanliness, but I dunno, as I kinda thrive on the whole, "oh me oh my it is killing me", feelings that kick in, and than I just do it all at once. Back to right now, I am LOVING the cleanliness and simplicity of my little guys room. It is now a clean shoebox with a bed. We did away with the 2 extra pieces of furniture, as they were just more surface area to accumulate dust and junk. Simplicity is where it is at, folks. And, now tonight I am cozied up in our living room looking a bit like Ma Ingalls, but with a laptop, listening to my daughter breath to the rhythm of her dreams, & enjoying the company of my husband. A perfect ending to the first day I have done more than just sit!

A Post Just to Say" I Posted"

My thoughts freeze as my bottom hits the chair and I lie my fingers upon the keyboard. We sit, the computer and I for sometimes as long as 20 minute, before I resign myself to another day gone by that I do not post. I keep telling myself that I need to write something, anything.Because if I do than each time following will get easier and easier.

So, bear with me folks, this is a dozie of a post.

____________

~A few things I would like to do in the next month~

~We will begin growing veggies in our garden and we will eat these very veggies when they are ready.

~I will sew each of my kids a few pair of jammies.

~I will finish the felted purse I knit each and every Wednesday I visited with my father in his last months.

~I will visit my father on Wednesdays with my children.

~I will "Spring" clean our home, like windows and everything!!! (Bought two stuffed bags full of cleaning supplies just the other night)

____________

~Right Now~

~I am typing in the space while my husband and I watch The Cartel on Netflix.

~I take a break here and there to play Words with Friends

~I revel at the beauty of my youngest daughter cuddled into the crook of my husbands arm while she sleeps away the fun of today.

~I try to stay present

____________

~Tomorrow~

~A new slate, a new day.

____________

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present."

Lao Tzu

Les Miserables School Edition --Coral--

Coral was recently cast in her first Musical as Young Eponine in

Les Miserables the School Edition

with Performance Theatre for Young Artists in Ventura, California

Without surprise she once again soared higher than clouds and made this momma's heart proud!

And this grandma wore an ear to ear smile even while shedding tears at the sorrow that this production is filled with.

We love you Miss Coral and look forward to seeing you in many more productions!

{This Moment}

{This Moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired By~ Amanda Soule

This week I am grateful for~Inspired by~ Waldorf Mama

~Health

~A roof over our heads

~Food on our table

~Family

~Friends

~Technology

A Beautiful Way to End Today

Today was draining to say the least. I needed to lay my head upon my pillow with positive thoughts for a better tomorrow:

"Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." ~Albert Einstein~

"Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear." ~Lao Tzu~

"A man who is master of himself can end sorrow as he can invent pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them."

~Oscar Wilde~

"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." ~Martin Luther King Jr.~

"Happiness depends upon ourselves." ~Aristotle~

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances." ~Martha Washington~

And I promise you tomorrow will be better...

And This Momma Makes Her Stage Debut

I decided to join in the Much Ado About Shakespeare fun this year. Coral has performed with this group for the last 4 years. After the first few years it sparked her interest enough that she has expanded her wings into auditioning and performing in musicals as well. Nishan gave it a try last year, but decided acting was not for him.

Being the 10th Year Anniversary for Much Ado, they offered a parent class for the first time. I enrolled under the assumption it would be FUN, add some much needed excitement and humor to my life, and give my family a good laugh.

Cast as Puck I performed along side my very funny friends in A Midsummer Night's Dream.

It twas fun, it twas humorous, it twas exciting, and I do believe my family and friends in the audience laughed along side us.

In the end I would definitely do it all over again, as all goals were met!

Our Diligent Dancer

Lillitha has been attending Ballet classes for just about 6 months now. This last week was parent preview week. We has not seen our little dancer dance since The Nutcracker. What they say is true, absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

Our little gals 6 months of hard work has allowed her to make "leaps and bounds" in her ballet dancing. I cannot wait till June 5 for her spring performance.

Love thy Nerd Demetrius

I love this girl more than words can express. I love her as Coral, I love her as Lord Montague, Touchstone, Hero,

and Demetrius.

We bring to you a few snapshots from

Much Ado About Shakespeare

A Midsummer's Night Dream set in the 1950's

These kids rocked it!

I laughed, laughed, and laughed some more!

I do believe that the laughter was just as wanted as the applause and I did a whole lotta that too!

Our weekend was filled with performances. I plan on highlighting each performance this week. Stay tuned!

Today is the Beginning of a Whole Lot of Goodness

When all else has failed, one must make the choice to change something...

Sometimes I "know" things, well probably all of the time, if I were to always pay close enough attention. Than there are the times where I am screaming at me with a knowing. If I were perfect, I would always listen to me and what I "know", but I am not. Sometimes, I choose to ignore what I "know", unfortunately even when it is screaming at me. My mom used to "know" things just because she was my mom, she would share her "knowings" with me, and of course being me, I would ignore her. ALWAYS, seriously, ALWAYS to learn later that she was right. You would think I would learn to listen to myself and well, my mom, but like I said I am not perfect. Not only am I not perfect, but I think I am beginning to think I am drawn to learning the hard way.

I am so over the hard way! 100% completely over it!!! I am in route to the easy way, things are going to be easier beginning today, because there is no other choice. With easy will come better days. I do not expect to not have sadness, heartache, and frustrations ever, without these we would not know how to truly enjoy the blessings. I am just looking for a reprieve from the self inflicted chaos.

We make choices, each of us in our family of 6. Every single choice each of us makes affects ALL 6 of us. My husband and I have a responsibility to model positive behavior for our children. Not only that but, I feel it is our due diligence to create a house full of blessings for our family. The past has shown that by straying from my instincts we have not done so. I must listen to myself and not stray, because as the story goes, I know myself better than anyone else. My instincts are strong, in hindsight they are usually right on, and if that is not enough of a push to begin listening to myself than I do not know what is.

It is hard to ignore the outside noise and walk my own walk. But today, is the day, when I will begin this journey and do as me heart tells me.

Underneath a Grey Cloud Covering

I lay on my back day after day staring at the dark grey looming over our heads in hopes of finding at least a single ray of sunshine. My heart tells me we will see brighter days, others tell me so, but I am losing hope, hope for that single ray, hope for brighter days, it feels as though the grey is engulfing me to later spit me out in a shower of hail. Maybe than will I wake up and this all have been part of a very bad dream. Our lives have been blessed with overcoming all of the mishaps thus far. I yearn to walk away from this and tuck it away as another chapter we overcame.

The very small company my husband worked for is closing until further notice. He will have a few hours sporadically until the last two jobs are completed. He has applied for nearly 65 jobs and here we sit.

The rhythm of our days is sporadic just like our income, we still smile, we still love, we still live, but there is a a dimness that is settling deeper and deeper. Emotions are full and fragile, they have become entangled in an ugly mess.

Time will tell where our journey is leading us to. I am finding the most painful part of this to be, my father cannot lend me a gentle hug or more simply a listening ear. I feel lost, confused, and most frustrated with feelings of not being able to provide for our 4 beautiful children.

Day in and day out I scour resources, as we have a responsibility to keep on truckin'. I am not one to easily give up, I do not like to be defeated, and I do not like the word, "No!". Although my ego is dinged and battered, it can still take more bruising, it will forever be intact and fight. I will raise to the occasion, even though it is not the most magnificent of them. I will gain composure and I will raise above the very thick grey fog we are overwhelmed by right now. I will shed many more tears, spout many more frustrated words, and need more tender loving care along the way, but we will indeed make it....

{This Moment}

{This Moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Inspired by~ Amanda Soule

The Man I Call Dad and My Kids Call Papa

David L. Abelson

August 31, 1943 - February 20, 2011

My father set out to teach me only a few things, and the rest he left to living and learning.

1-Family is everything, it is the only thing you will have in the end.

2-If you are lucky you will a few friends less than you can count on one hand who you will consider to be family.

3-Respect...not the kind of respect you beat out of someone. Just good wholesome treat and speak to others as you would like done to you.

There is no denying that I relied on him for much much more. As I grew up, he continued to grow wiser. My husband and I joked that he was the Wizard of the Wise. He was the man we went to when we were lost, which was much of the time. He is the man I went to all of the time, whether it be a shoulder to lean on, a good laugh, or somebody to chat away the day with. And no matter where he was, at work, at home, or on the phone, I kid you not he stopped what he was doing and always, always gave me a few moments. ALWAYS, his world stopped for just a few minutes to hear me out.

He was a really really good father to me and a most wonderful grandfather to his grandchildren. He was the first to greet Coral out of the womb. Nishan, Lillitha, and Zari it was again meeting them for the first time when his heart melted. We visited him frequently in these past 5 years and he was insistent that before he left he would teach the kids manners and respect. He must of felt confident enough that I could handle the "Family First" bit.

We are all heavy with emotion in these parts. Tears well up in our eyes at the drop of a pin. Memories are sparked throughout the day, prompting us to call my Mom (the kids Nana) or that dear friend (we are lucky enough to have). Our days have a different ebb and flow than previously, not good nor bad, just different. Life shall continue...

Watch the full episode. See more Austin City Limits.