Wednesday, November 24, 2010
A Hiccup during the Holidays
Sometimes things happen that force us to prioritize, take inventory, and than re-create our "to-do lists". My butt is sitting right there, and it has been for over a week. I have been fighting this place for the entire journey, because it is not what I "planned" on! I do not like being sick, I do not like it one single bit. I do not invite the forced relaxation, I like to relax on my terms when I have finished all of my "to-dos". Each time I walk away from a forced relaxation I realize that it was exactly what I needed and because I was going to keep pushing through and not listen to my body, my body forced me to listen.
This round my body is kicking my butt, bad! There have been a few days, when I started in on life again, only to wake the next morning back on my butt. I am at my wits end, and I know that there are far worse things than a common cold, but, but, but....I am so good with buts, just like I am with feeling sorry for myself while sick.
I am trying really, really, really hard to focus on prioritizing, taking inventory, and recreating our "to-dos". I am trying to stay focused on taking this time to chill with my kids and drink them in, as it is so easy for me to get lost in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, celebrations, and life going on right now.
My focus does not need to be on what I wanted, should of, or could of, my focus needs to be on what is here right in front of me! I do believe that is what Thanksgiving is all about.
I feel like shit, but I have a lot to be grateful for, some of it lies in the everyday blah, blah, but most of it lies in a place that cannot be put into words because it is just a distinct feeling, that I feel in the depths of my soul. The kind of feeling that warms you up all over, and makes you blush. I love that feeling and hold it close when it appears, as they are fleeting and should not be! We have so very, very, very much to be grateful for, even if the list comes to a million. I am not into comparing myself to others and I do not like to rely on others to feel that I am fortunate, but dude, we are fortunate in comparison.
I must get to bed early in hopes of waking up feeling like myself, as we are fortunate to be celebrating tomorrow with our dearest and closest friends.